When we received Noah’s diagnosis, a chromosomal deletion, a genetic mutation, a lifelong condition with many nuances and unknowns, it was difficult to see beyond our circumstances. It hurt. We ached for our boy, we mourned normality for him and for ourselves. In him, we officially stepped across the threshold into the world of special needs.
We could have done a lot of things in those first months. We could have been angry with God, cried out for an explanation, turned from him completely.
But although this trial was one of the biggest crises of faith we’d ever faced before, it wasn’t our first experience with faith and trust. And it was hard, so hard, but we dug in and held on to what we knew of God. I wrote in those days that we would not think in “what-ifs” but we would think in even-ifs. “EVEN IF all my worst fears are true, God is still God and I still am not. God has my benefit at heart. God lights my path. God adopted me, redeemed me, saved me and loves me. I am His.”
In Luke 19:29-44, we see the Triumphal Entry. There were many who had heard of Jesus, and ran to meet him. They drew near to him, to witness his coming, to get a glimpse of him. They praised him and treated him as literal royalty. And just days later, these same people cried out for his death.
These people were desperate, weighed down by an oppressive Roman rule. They needed something. They just didn’t know what they needed. When they saw Jesus coming, they thought only of their most immediate need. They couldn’t see beyond the current, problematic circumstances. They even asked for help – Hosannah, or “please save me!”
Jesus knew what they needed. They were right to ask for help. And they were even correct to ask for help from Jesus. However, they had an idea of what “salvation” would look like. They wanted a quick fix, but Jesus had so much more planned.
He offered freedom, peace, acceptance, mercy, grace — But they drew near to God with a limited vision and a closed mind.
Can you see beyond your circumstances? What’s hard right now? Are you struggling to trust God in it?
Are you looking for a quick fix when God is offering so much more?
Are you drawing near to God to suit your own purposes or His?
I can’t tell the future for you. I can’t say what God will do in it or through it. I can’t say he’ll take away what makes you ache.
But I do know to my very core that Jesus has so much more planned. And He invites us to trust him for the long haul. To draw near, to ask for help – Hosanna – and lay it all down before him. Let’s watch his plan unfold.
God had so much more for us than a child without 22q11.2 deletion syndrome. The very trajectory of our lives changed in that diagnosis, and although I can’t say that I would be strong enough to choose this again for Noah or for our family (because, I mean, I’m still human…), I am stronger because I have trusted God through it.
“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20