The God Who Sees

God, you are the God who sees. You see me. You see me fake a smile when my kid says “look at this!” for the 785th time. You see those frantic internet searches as I try to figure out the best therapy, the best treatment, the best educational plan for my kids. 

You see the tears in the shower.

You see the squishy, lumpier parts of me that I wish weren’t there.

You see my incessant tidying. You know that I hate a sink full of dishes. You see that my need to clean is part of a deeper problem to earn, to prove, perform, perfect. You wish I’d stop cleaning so much. 

You see that I’m frustrated. You see that I yelled. Again. 

You saw that gray hair (!) popping out at my temples before I did.

You see the anger in my head and the hurt in my heart.

You see the fog of depression, the press of anxiety, the lack of discipline.

But, amazingly, impossibly you are not appalled, frustrated, or disgusted. You see me, all of me, good and bad, inside and out. And I read – this amazing reality – that despite all of me, I am chosen to be made holy and blameless. I am adopted. I am forgiven. I am paid for, promised. I am favored and blessed. I am beloved. (Ephesians 1)

You see that chocolate stash I keep hidden from my kids. You don’t mind, it’s okay.

You see the brown flecks in my green eyes, a perfect blend of my parents’ eyes.

You see every sticky spot I scrub.

You see me draw in breath and strength.

You see the words I write.

You know the words I pray. 

You see me.

Lord, teach me to see also. . .

I see my 9 year old’s incredible memory despite all those swirling thoughts.

I see how often “I love you, Mom” floats through my 7 year old’s brain.

I see the creativity in her play.

I see his quirky sense of humor and instantaneous lock on new words.

I see voracious appetite for learning new things.

I see perseverance and determination in all those cartwheels and handstands.

I see independence.

I see sensitivity. I see an empathy so strong in my little boy that sometimes it hurts him.

I see a strong husband, a man seeking after You.

I see a life redeemed, a story unfolding.

You are the God who sees.

“For He looks to the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.” Job 28:24

“Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are a God who sees,'” Genesis 16:13

Take heart. You are seen.

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